Many straight women married to gay men consciously choose to do so with their eyes wide open. One possibility, of course, is that these men are indeed more sexually attracted to women than men who are exclusively gay. Both straight and gay communities put enormous pressure on the man and woman in a mixed-orientation marriage, and few marriages can stand up under this social, family, and religious pressure. The easiest option is to break up. I went to a single-sex school and have never really had any female friends. In our culture, we identify ourselves via a sexual- attraction binary: Mariella replies What's normal? Then everyone can stay in a category, and nobody is made uncomfortable because the rules of social prejudice are being challenged. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. The ideal here is for the two partners to learn to talk honestly with each other about their sexual needs, and other needs, and what to do about them. For me and my experience, I echo each man's words, their experiences, their approximate age when they married, the length of their marriages mine was 13 years , and the bubbles of beliefs and pressures that cause me to clamp down the lid on the pressure cooker that would become my hidden gay life. Just look at Boris Johnson if you want a prime example. Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook facebook. Like many of you who are brave enough to have purchased this book make sure you have a good hiding place for it, or get the Kindle version , I couldn't keep track of whether I was coming, or going. Their marriages lasted from 8 - 38 years. And, finally, reading Weed's post I kept thinking to myself, "What if Weed had been raised, say, a 'devout Unitarian' instead of 'devout Mormon'? Follow Mariella on Twitter mariellaf1 Topics.